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I
typed in my PIN number and waited for the screen to flash up my
account balance. My salary should have been credited and I would
draw out just a few pounds for the evening. I became aware of
somebody behind me. I always get a bit nervous when this
happens, of course it's just somebody waiting patiently for
their turn to use the cash machine but a tingle down my spine
alerts to the possibility of a mugger.
I put the twenty pound note and my bank card securely in my
pocket before stepping back slightly and turning round.
"Darren !"
I was astonished to see him. He just smiled at me.
"When did you ..." I cut myself short from what I was
saying, thrust out a hand and said, "Good to see you."
Darren took my hand. "Get out you mean ?"
"Sorry," I said quietly.
Darren had been part of our circle of friends but always on the
periphery of the group. I liked Darren but had never been that
close to him. He was a clever and articulate guy who I would
suggest had been born out of his class, speaking with him you
would certainly think he was from a middle-class, educated and
quite well off background - but no his
family was quite different always living with the thought of the
bailiff calling, cheques bouncing, unpaid rent and alcohol seen
as a means to disguise his parents lot. Darren's father was
violent and a bully, his mother worked hard to resemble a burnt
out whore.
He left school at sixteen with a bag full of qualifications, all
with high grades, but didn't stay on for a sixth form and the
gateway to the university place he deserved and a route to
escape his lot.
He had not been the kind of lad who was always in trouble at
school, never fell foul of the law and generally minded his own
business. It was this reserved trait within his character which
kept him on the edge of our friendship group, he never made any
attempt to change this and the rest of us never made to embrace
him deeper into our bunch of mates.
There was one night when we had all been to the pub together,
one particular fateful night. We each took it in turn to buy the
round of drinks but when it came to Darren's turn the barman
refused to take his money. He held up one of the two notes
Darren offered and declared it to be a forgery, when Darren
protested the landlord was called and things got a bit awkward.
We teased him and Darren was thrown out. None of us followed, we
just let him go, after all it was only Darren.
That should have been it but totally out of character Darren
went back to the pub in the small hours of the morning. He had
with him a bottle of petrol complete with a Molotov wick which
he lit then hurled the whole thing through a window. The
resulting blaze was quite spectacular.
In due course Darren was arrested, tried and sent to prison. I
felt sorry for him, I even wrote to him a couple of times but
never kept it up. He was soon put out of mind and over the next
couple of years almost forgotten. Forgotten until that day when
he stood there in front of me.
"Don't be sorry," Darren said, "it's over
now."
"What was it like ?"
"Hell."
I didn't answer. What could I say ?
"Want me to tell you about it ?" Darren said.
"Do you want to ?"
"I'd like to tell someone."
It was a warm day, we walked along and into the park where we
sat by the side of the lake. We pinged small pebbles into the
water like a couple of kids.
"So will you listen ? I need to share things with somebody
and you are a good friend. I'm grateful that you wrote to me
inside; you're the only one who did ?"
"What about your parents."
Darren scoffed. "Them !"
I paused, studied the floor then said. "So what happened
?"
With that Darren began his story:
There were four of us taken away from the court that day.
Although I had been remanded on bail during the trial I knew
there was no alternative to my being locked up after the verdict
and when the judge gave me four years it was more or less what I
had been expecting. But it was still a big shock, I was stunned
into silence and my desire to keep my own counsel continued as
we were driven along towards the prison. Not so the other two in
the van with me, they were brothers who laughed and joked all
the way.
When we reached the prison we were taken to a small reception
area where after a few preliminary formalities we were told to
strip naked. Our own clothes were taken from us and prison
uniforms handed out. We were ordered to take a shower but first
the officers used our nudity to humiliate us, keeping us
standing there as long as possible.
"You're in here for arson aren't you ?" one said from
behind me. "Well take that as a reminder for your arse
!" As he spoke he delivered a terrific sway with a wooden
clipboard to my bare behind. It bloody stung but I managed to
avoid calling out.
Another officer spoke to the older of the two brothers.
"That's a fine dick you've got there but you'll have to put
it away for a long time now, nothing to shag in here !"
"I wouldn't say that," he replied. "There must be
plenty of cunts about - I'm looking at one right now !"
That brave comment fetched him an almighty back handed slap
across his face followed by a violent punch to the solar plexus.
The guy doubled up and gasped to catch his breath. His brother
moved to help him.
"Steady there, unless you want some of the same for
yourself."
Attention then returned to me. "Are you bent boy ?"
The officer who had hit me now stood at my front, his arms
folded to clasp that clipboard to his chest. He turned his head
to one side and feigned an element of deep thought. "I mean
I know you are bent in the criminal sense of the word or you
wouldn't be here but what I mean is - er - are you bent in the
sexual sense ?"
"No Sir," I replied softly. I added the word SIR not
out of respect but as an attempt to avoid further violence or
humiliating words.. But it wasn't successful.
"Then why is it that you have a bent dick ?"
"My dick points to the left, Darren explained to me
breaking off from his narrative. "No big deal about that
but the screw was making something of it."
"Perhaps it's so you can piss round corners."
The other screws laughed loudly.
"Let me tell you lad that before you leave here you'll be
pissing yourself in all directions. We'll make sure of that -
don't worry !"
The humiliation went on and on for a long time, the three of us
just standing there naked, until we were eventually allowed to
dress and were taken to the wing of the prison where we were to
live out our sentence. The brothers were split with the older
being sent to a different wing while the younger and I were
directed not just to the same block but also to share a cell.
This brother was Gary and this wasn't his first time in prison,
he'd served a juvenile sentence but now along with his brother
he was being locked up for a long time. They'd been caught after
an armed raid on a petrol filling station where Gary had shot
the attendant. Yes, I was very cautions of my new room mate - I
could have chosen better company.
I lay on my bed as soon as I was put in the cell and tried to
sleep, but I couldn't. If only I could sleep away the next four
years but fantasise as I did the reality of my situation would
not go away. I tried to calculate how long I would have to be a
model prisoner if I was to be released early; and how early
could that be. Funny but I didn't think back to all that had
happened and wish I had behaved differently. Is that strange ?
I shrugged my shoulders to indicate that I didn't know. I was
feeling guilty; perhaps if I had been a better friend to Darren,
perhaps if I had not laughed at him that night when he tried to
pay for our drinks with a forged note, perhaps if I had left the
pub when he did, perhaps -. Life is full of that word - perhaps.
I said nothing and Darren continued his story.
I was close to tears all the time, I think if I had been alone I
would have sobbed my emotions aloud but Gary was there, privacy
is the last thing anyone gets in prison.
The remaining events of the day are now lost in a mist and I can
not recall either sequence or significance. There must have been
a meal somewhere but I can't remember. I talked with Gary but
don't know what about, I do know I developed a feared respect
for the guy after all he had shot someone. True the garage
cashier hadn't died but I don't think Gary would have been that
much bothered if he had. Sharing a cell with him would not be
easy, I would have to be careful.
But if I have a problem remembering much of the day time I have
no such difficulty recalling the events of the night. They are
as if everything took place but an hour ago.
As Darren was sharing his story with me I felt he was now
different to the lad I had previously known. Of course prison
would have changed him but there was also something else,
something I sensed but could not put my finger on. I looked at
him and his face was trying to tell me something but what lay
behind his changing expressions was enigmatic and still to me
made clear.
We were locked up very early, Darren continued, and the lights
were turned out at eight o'clock. Having an evening again is the
hardest thing I am truing to adjust to since I got out, I feel
as if I need to be in bed early. But I was pleased when those
lights went out that first day. The fading light creeping
through the small window soon joined the privacy of the prison
blackness and I felt alone. Of course Gary was there but the
darkness shut me into my own little world. His bed was but a few
mean feet away, I couldn't see him and could only just hear him
breathing but he was there.
This was his cell and I was sharing it, we were not equal room
mates. Although I was older then he it was me who was the
junior. We hadn't spoken much to each other, he wasn't my kind
of person, but if we were to be forced to live together for
however long it was to be I should, perhaps, make something of
an effort. In the darkness I resolved to be a bit more sociable,
starting in the morning.
I can not tell you how long it was before sleep overtook me, I
guess it wasn't all that long but everything was fitful. Five
hours after the lights were turned out, perhaps six - I don't
know - I awoke with a violent start.
There was a hand over my face clasping my moth shut. It was
pressing hard and hurt. In panic I moved to snatch it away, my
heart was thumping with terror and my mind racing with
horrifying imagination.
"Don't struggle," Gary said. "And don't call out.
If you don't I won't hurt you. If you do - well you try it and
find out what happens."
I opened my eyes wide and the situation honed every sense to
allow me to see shadows of what was taking place in the
blackness.
"You promise to be a good boy ?"
I tried to nod my head in agreement.
"Good."
Gary removed his hand but such had been the force with which he
had held me that I could still feel it in place. I gasped for
breath then spoke.
"What - ?"
"Quiet !" Gary snapped. "Now you do promise to
behave yourself don't you. Remember the last thing I want is to
hurt you. That would spoil everything."
"What's going on ?" I whispered. "My voice was
quieter, much quieter, than the thump of my heart beating with
each pulse echoing in that cold little room.
Gary began to explain. "Listen Darren," It was the
first time he had used my name, "there aint no pussy in
here so we have to make the best of it. You agree ?"
"Yes," I said hesitatingly.
"Of course most guys in here will simply use their right
hand but a wank is no substitute for a good shag is it ?"
"I
guess not."
"Now I've got a dick and you've got a dick. And I've got an
arse and you've got an arse. Follow my meaning ?"
I did and was scared rigid by what Gary was proposing.
"Now I mean to have my dick up that cute little arse of
yours, you can fuck me as well if you like - I'd like that.
Thing is there are two ways we can do it, easy or the other way.
But be certain your arse is going to be shagged."
He meant every word. I was scared, dead scared but what
could I do ? I had to go along with him. I mean what
choice did I have ?
"Better make it the easy way."
"Good. And are you going to fuck me as well Darren ?"
"If you want me to."
"Oh I want you to."
"I'm straight," Darren said to me. "Of course I
wank like any other guy and when I was pissed once I had a
wanking race with a mate but I hadn't ever had man-sex. I guess
I knew what was involved and thought to myself there in the
darkness that I could manage the physical side of things but
would it be good or not ? Do you think I should have been
revolted ?"
I shook my head.
"It was either join in or be raped, not much of a choice
was it ?"
"I wonder," Gary said, "what it will be like to
be fucked with that nice bent dick of yours. I can't wait to
learn."
Gary and his brother, I later learned, were outwardly straight
but would fuck each other on a regular basis and had done so
ever since adolescence. They had presumed they would be placed
together and see out their sentence taking pleasure from one
another. But the authorities had other ideas and my arse was the
alternative given to Gary. Everything in my life since I had
stupidly firebombed the pub had become surreal and this was no
different.
"You and me are going to get on," Gary said. "Now
where's that arse of yours ?"
I rolled over onto my stomach as Gary threw back the covers on
my bed. I was wearing boxers and I lifted myself slightly to let
him pull them down my legs and over my feet. Don't think bad of
me but I actually wanted him. I didn't know what it was going to
be like but I wanted to know. I felt no revulsion, quite the
opposite I was actually aroused.
Gary didn't waste any time, there was no foreplay. He put a
strong arm about my stomach to move me into a kneeling position
then rammed his rock hard cock straight inside me.
It hurt ! It hurt ! It hurt ! It hurt so much. My arse felt as
if it was being torn in half. I bit my lip but still couldn't
help crying aloud.
"No this hurts. Gary stop it please."
"Don't worry that was just your virginity leaving you. It
hurt my first time and man you've seen the size of my brother's
dick. Fancy having that inside you ! I couldn't walk for a week
! Hey I wonder who he's fucking tonight."
I wondered too. And would I still be able to walk when it was
all over ?
Gary was moving in and out of me fucking my arse furiously.
Waves of pain were flowing over me and tears of agony streamed
from my eyes. But do you know throughout it all my dick was rock
solid hard - as hard as it had ever been and I was thinking what
it would be like when it was my turn to put it up Gary.
Beads of sweat were all over me, it felt like I had a red hot
poker up my backside but outside all that terrible pain, beyond
it there was a hint of pleasure. I wanted Gary to cum quickly
then stop but then I didn't, I wanted this to go on for ever.
I was totally wrapped up in Darren's story. I was fascinated.
Who ever would have imagined it - Darren ? He was recalling
these events and sharing them with me without an hesitation or
reservation. As I listened everything about me was shut out and
I was there with him and Gary watching what was going on. Gary
was always good with words, if things had been different for him
he could have been a journalist or an author. He still could be
and the story he was telling to me would be as fascinating to
others as I found it. Of that I was sure.
Gary came quickly, too quickly and it was all over. I had become
used to the pain of having him inside me and was tolerating it
well but everything increased as he withdrew. I lay on my bed
and took deep breaths to try and make the torture inside my arse
go away. I wanted it to go away so that Gary could get back
inside me.
Hell man I was gay. I'd just become gay. And I liked it. Never
before in my life had I ever considered going with man but Gary
taking away my male virginity like that had been good. Now I
wanted him.
"You ready for my arse ?"
"I am ."
"Try not to poke my eye out when you put that bent dick
inside me," Gary joked.
The relationship between us had changed noticeably. I wasn't
scared of him any more, a friendship was beginning to build
between us.
In the semi darkness I ran my hands over Gary’s bum cheeks,
they were lovely. My own arse was still stinging like hell and I
wondered how much pain Gary would soon feel from me or was the
pain just associated with your first time ? I guess I would find
out myself - next time.
My fingers explored deep between his buttocks and found the
opening where I would soon place my dick. It was firm but not
tight, three fingers moved in with ease. I held them there for a
moment then pulled them away to leave the way clear for the head
of my dick.
Electricity shocked my body was the head of my dick went in.
"Hey, you're good," Gary said. "Sure you've never
done this before ?"
"No."
I pushed hard and with one movement was totally inside Gary.
Sure my dick points to the side but it was no handicap as it
straightened inside my friend. My arse was stinging but it was
good, I could still feel Gary inside me, locked there in my arse
as I was now locked in his.
Gary pinched his buttocks together and squeezed my dick tight. I
pulled back and began the art of fucking him. I fucked him for
all I was worth. I fucked him as deep and hard as I could. Each
time I pulled back I thrust in harder than the time before. Gary
was my first but I determined to be better than his brother.
He groaned with the pleasure I was giving him. I thanked destiny
for placing us together, for committing me to a term in prison,
for rooming us together. Harder and harder I fucked him, deeper
and deeper until I finally came pouring everything I had inside
that beautiful arse.
Darren had begun his story in a matter of fact way, retelling
events in a straightforward manner which was in the style of a
documentary account but as Gary featured more and more the genre
changed I realised what it was about him I had seen previously
but could not identify.
"Gary and I fucked each other most nights after that,'
Darren said. "You see I'm now totally, one hundred percent
gay."
I
said nothing.
"Is that a problem for you ?" Darren asked.
"No."
"You understand ?"
I did. "How much longer has Gary got to serve ?" I
asked.
"I got four years and was out in two and a half,"
Darren explained. "Gary got fifteen."
"Oh."
"I've considered doing something to get back in there
but would we share a cell again ? Would I even
be sent to the same gaol ?"
"That doesn't sound a very good idea to me."
"You're right; it isn't."
"So will you wait ?"
"I'll wait," Darren confirmed, "but it will be a
long time. I thought I may write my story down, perhaps somebody
may like to read it. Do you think anyone would publish it
?"
"Funny you should say that !" I replied.
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